Get Free Of His Pattern Of Anger & Withdrawal by Christian Carter

if sharing what you feel leads to less listening and more of the same problems from your boyfriend...

And it feels like he's punishing you by withdrawing and listening less each time you try and talk...

The thing is - if you're afraid to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel about him or your relationship because you wonder if he'll FREAK OUT...then things are already in a bad place.

If the way your boyfriend responds to you not only hurts your feelings, but it makes you feel less secure and has you thinking he may not want to be in a serious relationship, I can help.

I know how scary and UNCERTAIN it can make everything feel when your man shuts you out. It doesn't have to be this way.

You can talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling and where you see things going, as long as you know HOW to do it in a way that he'll respond and WANT to listen and share his feelings with you.

Tons of women do this one thing. And it must leave them feeling awful... I wonder if you do it too?

I'm talking about women who hide their true feelings from a man and fear sharing their desire for a closer relationship and for love.

Ever felt this way?

It happens when you won't communicate directly with a man about your feelings because you think you'll "scare him away". Unfortunately, you're right... it could scare him away IF you don't know how to communicate with a man in a way that gets him to listen to you and not hear what his fears want him to hear.

The way you talk to a man about a relationship turns out to be THE BIGGEST MISTAKE ANY WOMAN CAN MAKE WITH A MAN.

I'll come back to this giant mistake in just a quick second...
First, I'd like to talk about what I've seen in the dating world as a guy and share a FASCINATING story with you.

I've had women communicate their feelings with me in all sorts of different ways from joy to anger to frustration, and I know what each one does to a man (and in a larger context, what communicating this way does to any person in general - man or woman).

See, there's a common pattern most men and women share when it comes to their dating experiences.

Tell me if it sounds familiar to you.
THE STORY GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS...
(Let's pretend I'm the man in this story and you're the woman.)
You and I meet. We both like each other. (Lucky me!)
Our feelings develop for each other on several levels (physically, emotionally, socially).
You try to be "patient" and not express too many feelings and what you want to play it cool.
We have a great "connection" and have a great time when we're together... but we never really talk about what we want in our future around dating, a relationship, or marriage.
Time goes by and things are great for us when we're together.
But eventually, you begin to see that you're not getting what you want from me in the relationship once you start to see that things aren't moving past this "casual" but fun situation.
Which brings up a dilemma in your mind.
You want more, but you're scared of talking to me about it because you don't know where I'm at.
You want us to get closer, but you don't want to "rock the boat" and do something that will make things worse, when all you want is for things to be even more magical for us both together.
Plus, you're a little scared about how things are going to go in the future because I've talked to you about all the bad experiences I've had with women in the past and part of you knows that I might not be "open" or seem "ready" for the kind of true love and a lasting relationship that we could have.
And sometimes I even make negative remarks about dating and relationships that make you think there's a part of me that doesn't "get" what we have together or fully appreciate it the way you do.
Of course, you don't want to ruin the good things we have going, but in the back of your mind you know that you want to talk about where things are headed so you can have some certainty and not feel like you're just waiting around for me to "get with the program" and figure it out.
But the more you think about this, and us, the more you start to feel fear and the negative emotions that come into your mind.
You think to yourself, "What if he's not that serious about me and I'm totally in love with him?"
"What if this is all he wants, and I'm left hanging after putting so much into this?"
"What if everything that I've been feeling and starting to count on isn't real!?"
Your head is full of these thoughts... but you still don't communicate with me about them.
Then, as I start to see us growing closer, a few things start to happen for me at the same time:
- I notice that you're acting different and seem more emotional, more worried, and almost "needy" when we're together
- I notice that we don't have as much fun anymore and that things are starting to feel "heavy" and like it's "work" when we're together
- You don't seem to be so "into me" anymore, and you aren't just happy to see me and share your love and affection when we first see each other
- I start to notice that you question me a lot more, and react to little things that I do, no matter how small or insignificant I think they are
And finally...
- I start to pull away as I feel these things and don't know what they are (which only makes you feel worse, worry more, and reinforces the negativity and distance we're both starting to feel between us)
But still, you're trying to play it cool and let things work out without freaking out.
So you don't say anything to me directly to communicate what's going on for you and your feelings.
And being a normal guy, I don't say anything either. (Of course not, I'm a man!)
But you become more and more frustrated and confused that I'm not acting how I used to act.
Things begin to change with the way I treat you.
I don't pay as much attention to you anymore.
I don't surprise you or bring you flowers anymore.
I'm tired every day after work and just want to watch TV when I get home.
I call you less frequently.
I don't initiate sex as much anymore.
You even consider that I could be seeing someone else because of how differently I'm acting with you now.
And after a few months - I've become totally distant from you.
So what happens next?
You decide you're not happy with where things are and it's time to have a talk.
But you're SCARED of expressing your feelings about what you want because it will scare me away, so you let things build up inside you until you begin to let your frustrations with me show.
And to wrap the story up...
You make THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE WITH A MAN...
You start a conversation about the relationship and then you "let me have it"! (you get upset and lose your cool with me)
All your desires, fears, frustrations and dreams that you've been holding inside away from me all pour out in one big emotional explosion...
This "Big Mistake" can take the form of arguing and yelling, but not exclusively.
Sometimes it's just extreme intensity, perhaps tears.
It might include:
- Complaining about the current state of the relationship
- Talking about the things he does wrong with you
- Showing your frustrations about what you feel is missing
- Becoming upset that he doesn't feel how you'd like him to feel
- Bringing up past issues, arguments or disappointments
But it always creates a lot of emotional tension and "drama". Especially in the guys mind.
This is THE LAST THING you want to do with a man if you want to get some positive results and move things FORWARD and become CLOSER in your relationship.
That tension that's created stays with him, and he NEVER forgets it.
In his mind, he now thinks of you as "hysterical" and full of issues. His mind defines you by what he saw in your behavior, and it scares him.
And yes, I know it's not fair. But it's the man's weird and twisted reality...
I've heard hundreds, maybe thousands, of men talk about this exact perception of a woman and
how they fear being with a woman who they think will make this giant mistake.
And yeah, I also know that this is an immature, selfish and unfair way to see things... but it's the reality of the situation that lots of women end up being "that woman" to the man in their lives.
So... the million dollar question is -
How do you avoid this situation?
And what do you do instead to communicate with a man in a way that won't scare him off but bring you closer and build a better foundation for communication and your relationship?

Now, back to how to avoid this Big Mistake...
I'll tell you how in THREE EASY STEPS.
Step 1) You Need To Understand What's Going On Inside The Mind Of Your Man...
Let me tell it to you straight, as a man...
Women secretly believe that their connection with a man will "naturally" turn into something deeper without any communication taking place.

Honestly... this isn't how it works with most men in the real world.
If you're "assuming" you have a relationship, and that he feels like you do, odds are that you're wrong.

Men don't assume that a connection, being together, spending quality time and all the rest means they're in a committed RELATIONSHIP.
Some men do, but not most.

For a man to know he's in a committed relationship, and understand the things YOU want in that relationship, YOU have to communicate with him in CLEAR AND DIRECT terms.

Yeah, that's right... You have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable.

Scary, right?

And all the "common wisdom" tells you that doing this is the surest way to scare a man off. But what about women who seem to "effortlessly" get a man to fall in love with them and commit, without any struggles or tension? Is it just luck?

While in some rare cases this is true...it's generally NOT luck.
It's that these women either naturally know how to interact and communicate with men in relationships in a way that WORKS...
Or... they've taken the time to find and learn the right information, and integrate a new, more productive and positive way of communicating into their thinking and behavior.

Doing this is not easy. In fact, it's a "skill" most people have to learn to finally create and grow and real, lasting, loving relationship. But the good news is that there's a very easy way to learn and get help.

Keep reading...
Step 2) You Need To Understand What Causes You To Make "The Big Mistake"
EVERYONE wants to have THEIR needs met first.
It's basic human nature.
But being able to delay your gratification is an AMAZING thing to develop in your life (in every part of your life, not just dating).
Most people (men and women) want to talk, talk, talk about what THEY think and what THEY want.

The root of this problem basically boils down to having your own needs that are unmet. So making "The Big Mistake" is really all about being driven by your unmet needs and desires and solely focusing on what YOU want the relationship to be... without honestly and critically
considering the man's perspective, his emotional state, his communication skills and where he's coming from at the same time.

Here's the thing...
When you do this with a man, and don't consider things from his perspective in the same way you want him to consider yours, you are subconsciously telling him that you're more interested in your
feelings and what YOU want than you are in his feelings and what he wants. And men pick up on and "read" women who do this. Instantly.
I see a form of this "Big Mistake" all the time in business by the way.
Some business professionals are the worst at this self-absorbed "need"- oriented communication. Like when someone calls me who wants to get something from me or sell me something and they're not very experienced or polished at it.

The first thing I pick up on is their selfish agenda... and it instantly puts me on the defensive. But if they've done their "homework" on me and what I'm looking for, instead of coming from a place of need about what THEY WANT from me... then it changes the whole situation once they show me they've thought about what I want. It's very simple... but extremely powerful.

So let's take this concept directly back to communicating with men.
It might sound cliché, but you've got to learn to listen and understand where's he's at and where's he's coming from. Patience, empathy and understanding are the first steps towards creating the relationship you
dream about with another person who has his own dreams, desires, and frustrations.

Or course, you've also got to be careful to not become the woman who gives a man EVERYTHING and gets walked on, either.

We'll get to how to make sure you are "heard" and have your needs met in a minute...
Step 3) How To Avoid Making The Big Mistake
Let me give you a vital piece of information when dealing with men...
Men are CLUELESS when it comes to identifying the things that are "obvious" to women in dating and relationships.
I would know. It's taken me ten years to begin to understand these things for myself - and I spend a LOT of time thinking about it.
Sorry though, I'm "spoken for"... (I can hear you: "Oh please, get over yourself, Christian!!") Ok, enough self-indulgent humor, back to you.

So we know men are AWFUL at initiating and participating in conversations about deep emotions and relationships. Sorry to break the bad news, but it's almost always up to you to make this communication happen. Or at least to get it started and make it a part of your ongoing relationship. Luckily, if motivated, men can be great learners who pick things up quickly and like to succeed at new things.

So learn to take advantage of their strengths, instead of condemning them for their weaknesses. It's important to remember to approach the entire conversation from the perspective of talking about what you want AND what he wants. If you can make a guy feel like you put his feelings and needs a priority in this conversation, and always consider what he wants, I promise he will LOVE YOU for it!

And return the favor.
When you talk to a man from a positive place of listening first, he will be 10,000 times more receptive to what you have to say than if you approach him from a place of feeling hurt or anxious.

Try this instead...
Ask a positive question or give a positive statement such as, "Honey, I was thinking today that I was happy to be with you." It might sound submissive, corny, or difficult to say to someone you're having a tough time with, but think about it... If you're going through all the trouble to worry so much about the future with this person, this is already what you're thinking.

Oh, and one more thing...
If you're having a hard time talking to your man, no matter WHAT you say or HOW you say it, there may be deeper issues here than simply putting a "positive spin" on what it is you're thinking and feeling.

If your boyfriend is misunderstanding what you're trying to tell him, ignoring what you've been telling him, or has simply SHUT DOWN an d isn't telling you anything about what he's feeling, then it's time you took a whole different approach.

I mean, unless you're completely open and honest about what you are BOTH experiencing in your relationship, and what your expectations and needs are, there's a big danger in having your man "drop the bomb" on you when you least expect it.

You'll be going through weeks or months of silence or tension, only to have him come to you one day to tell you, "I'm not in love with you anymore," or "I think we should stop seeing each other."

My Pregnancy: Week 22

Time to see my status this week. FYI, I do control my food as I don’t want to gain way too much of weight like I did when I was having Aaron. And yes, you’ll feel hungry but doesn’t mean you need to double your meal course. Read the article and you know what I mean. I made that mistake last time – Once bitten twice shy!

Your Pregnancy: Week 22
If your list of baby things to do seems to be getting longer the bigger you get, don't stress out. Make a pact with your partner that one day or evening a week, you'll do something that has nothing to do with the baby. How about the latest Anne Hathaway flick and dinner?
Wondering what's up with your body, your baby and your life this week? Read on ...

Your Body
Sadly enough, eating for two doesn't mean loading up on milkshakes and hamburgers and doubling your caloric intake. Instead, an average pregnant woman needs about 300 extra calories each day, which can be as little as a handful of trail mix or a small smoothie. If you're craving a little ice cream, go ahead and indulge, but if you need it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, try to find a healthy substitute like sugar-free soft serve or fro yo.
Sometimes it's easier on pregnant stomachs to eat five or six small meals each day than three large meals. Make sure to keep a stockpile of pregnancy-friendly snacks like crackers and cheese, pudding or a breakfast bar, so that you'll have something to gnaw on throughout the day. Don't let your hungry coworkers (or your partner) know where you keep your stash.
Your Baby
Your Mini's hands have grown bigger and stronger and the nerve endings in her fingers have developed her sense of touch. She's in there testing out her newfound abilities by touching her face and grabbing the umbilical cord. Other cool developments:
You're already raising a little Einstein. Your baby's brain is developing at a clip this week and will continue to do so until she's five years old (so load up on the Omega 3)!
Baby's hair is now a short, bright white crop (Billy Idol, eat your heart out!). No matter what color it will end up—red, blonde, black—all babies' hair lacks pigment at this point.
Your baby has started growing taste buds and may be able to detect strong flavors in the amniotic fluid. If you could see inside, you might catch her sticking out her tongue for a taste and then grimacing, a sign that perhaps you should chill on the chili powder.
Your baby now weighs almost a pound and measures almost 11 inches from her head to her heel, which is how the Stretch Armstrong in your uterus will be measured from here on out. Up 'til now your baby's legs were curled tight up against her torso, so she was measured from her head to her bottom (or crown to rump) and not head to toe. This week your mini is about as long as a package of Oreos and as heavy as a large bag of tortilla chips. Who's hungry?

One of the greatest gifts you can give to a man - by the Relationship Doctor

"I see it happen all the time. A woman spends years trying to find the man of her dreams, and when she finally finds him, and she's finally having what she thinks is a great relationship with him - bam! It happens.

"For some inexplicable reason, he chickens out and is reluctant to take the relationship to the next level - and may even want out altogether.

"Let me tell you in a nutshell what I think is the No. 1 mistake women unconsciously make that scare a man away from them.

"They make a man feel that it is his responsibility to make her happy.

"When a man thinks your happiness rests on his shoulders, he often feels a sense of panic. It creates too much pressure for him to deliver, and he may not have a clue how to make you happy, especially if he hasn't even figured out how to make himself happy.

"This is further compounded by the fact that women have complex emotional needs that men cannot understand. Therefore, a man may worry that he may not be able to fulfill her needs, no matter how
hard he tries.

"You may not be aware that you're putting the responsibility for your happiness on him, but you probably insinuate it in the things you do or say. One thing you need to remember is that you must  take responsibility for your own happiness and your own sense of self-worth because a man cannot do that for you.

"For instance, a man can tell you everyday that you're beautiful, but deep down, if you don't believe you're beautiful, he couldn't possibly convince you otherwise. Likewise, if you tend to have a negative view of life, and feel victimized by things people say or do (including him), how could he possibly make you happy when you're projecting your dim view of the world on him and everything else?

"How you feel on the inside is just as important - if not more important - than what you say or do.

"One of the greatest gifts you could give a man is to take the pressure off him by taking the responsibility for your own happiness.

"Face it. What good is finding the man of your dreams if you're going to scare him away with your emotional neediness?

"This belief will manifest not only in how you think, but how you dress and how you carry yourself - and will go a long way in attracting your dream man and keeping him devoted to you.

What to think, do, and say - if he wants OUT by Mimi Tanner

Do you know what to say when your boyfriend says he wants to break up, or your husband wants to leave?

Do you know what to do when he starts drifting away?

I'll tell you what not to do - do not act in a surge of emotion, as difficult as that is. Try to get some distance from the situation. Think with a clear head. He won't get farther away from you while you're taking your time to think. In fact, he's more likely to get closer to you - and to wonder what is going through YOUR mind.

In your own mind, make your plans. First, think about Plan B: Think in terms of not being with him - and think about how you will move ahead if that is what happens.

Don't try to talk him out of leaving. In fact, mirror what he does to some extent. That's what he's NOT expecting from you.

Next - proceed to Plan A.
Plan A is your plan to get your wants met. However, it has to be something you both want or it won't work. For any critics who bristle at my calling this a "plan" - is there something wrong with planning one's life?? We plan our life insurance, health insurance, career moves - and we're not supposed to plan our love lives or the future of our children??? I think we should plan those above all the rest.

Plan A is this:
No more talking about this situation. Show him - with very few words - that you can move on with your life if he insists on leaving. And don't make a big deal out of it. It's kind of like when both of you are pulling on a rope, playing tug of war with your relationship. If you let go, he will lose his balance and fall on his you know what - unexpectedly. It may be a good place for him to sit and think about whether he REALLY wants to lose you forever. Behind the scenes, you can begin your private campaign to get him back - if you want him back. Now you too have time to think!

My Pregnancy: Week 21

What the articles is saying about the baby and the most interesting about my body and my sex drive, hahaha! I try not to comment about the sex stuff.. wink! But baby already start moving since last week thou. Cranky as ever. Don’t even let me sit in front of pc too long.

Your Pregnancy: Week 21
Twenty-one is a magic number. It means independence. It means you just won a hand of blackjack. In pregnancy terms, it means you have gotten over the hump and you only have 19 weeks left!
Wondering what's up with your body, your baby and your life this week? Read on ...

What You're Thinking
"Ugh, even my underwear feels tight."

Your Body
Did you know that your growing belly is directly proportional to your sex drive? In other words, the bigger you get, the bigger it gets. That's a sweet way of saying that second trimester hormones can turn you into a total horn dog. (Finally a physical benefit your partner can actually appreciate.)
As long as your pregnancy is going well, engaging in a little "love me do" is perfectly safe and healthy. In a healthy pregnancy, having sex is perfectly fine—even in the third trimester.
There was a time when you tried different sex positions all the time. Now that your growing belly is making the old reliable missionary position obsolete, it's time to get creative again.
When you're about ready to pop, some say sex can induce contractions. And even if it doesn't work, you can still have fun trying.

Your Baby
Chances are good you're feeling someone performing a round-off back handspring in your uterus by now. Is there any other feeling this cool? Other highlights this week:
By now your baby looks like a mini-version of what she'll look like when she's born. All her facial features are formed and hair is growing on her head. She's even acting like a baby and will occasionally suck her thumb or yawn. Aww ...
Baby's heartbeat is getting stronger and can be heard using a good old-fashioned stethoscope. Ask for a listen at your next prenatal visit! By 21 weeks, fetal bone marrow starts making blood cells—previously done by the liver and spleen. This may not sound that exciting, but it's good news.
The amniotic fluid that has been cushioning your little bean now serves another purpose: Your baby uses it to "practice" chowing down. Yes, it sounds gross (as many aspects of pregnancy do), but it's an important step for your baby toward being able to chow down in the real world. Your baby has been swallowing amniotic fluid for a while now, but now the intestines are finally developed enough that she's absorbing small amounts of sugars from it. And let's face it, being able to effectively digest sugar is important at every stage of life.
Your baby now weighs between 10 and 11 ounces and is approximately 7 inches long—the size of a delicious, cold, frothy bottle of root beer. Float anyone?

Immaturity Keeping Your Man From Committing? by Christian Carter

If you had a healthy mature man, would a lot of what's tough in your relationship go away?

For lots of women who've had a series of bad men and painful relationships... they could have avoided a lot of pain and frustration, had they chosen a better man. So you know, when it comes to men... the man you choose is the man you get. But what if you don't really know how to tell a good man from a toad? What if you don't know if a man is ready and able to COMMIT to a real relationship?

Too many women don't know how to tell good from bad when it comes to dating men. Even the guys who seem incredible at first somehow turn out to be just like some of the other creeps out there. As a result of NOT KNOWING how to tell the good from the bad, too many women keep "accidentally" falling into the wrong relationships with the same kind of wrong men.

Don't let this keep happening to you. And don't let your uncertainty and fear around this keep pushing the right man away from you once he's right there in front of you.One of the most common areas where great women misunderstand men is how a man acts when it comes to COMMITMENT.

Do you know how commitment works for a man, and why he either believes his life will be better off as a result of committing to a woman, or worse?

Let's talk about how to recognize and know if a man really has his act together and is a good bet for your time and attention. Here are 3 fail-safe signs of a healthy and mature man who would make good "relationship material" for you:

Good Man Sign #1: He Can Stay "Calm In The Storm"
Mature men aren't easily rattled to where they act out, become defensive or blame others. Mature men remain calm even when things are at their most intense and uncertain. This "groundedness" is something most women love and appreciate about their man when push comes to shove.

Immature men, on the other hand, can't handle a woman's real feelings and fall apart when even the smallest hint of conflict or tension comes up.

Here's something you should know...

Mature men can handle your most intense feelings and remain honest and thoughtful when you share them (although they won't always agree with you, or give you what you want).

Immature men become unsettled and react negatively when a woman is the least bit honest and concerned about anything that isn't great in your relationship. Immature men will act as though a woman should have never talked about or brought up anything about the relationship that's on her mind that isn't fun, complimentary, or about sex.

Here's one reason why less mature men act this way-

They often take what a woman is feeling not to be a show of care and concern for the relationship... Instead, they take it as a CRITICISM about themselves as a man. This comes from the false belief many immature or less experienced men hold that a woman should simply be happy because they are together. And that everything else is "drama" or unnecessary worry or details. *Hint- men want nothing as much as to make the woman they're interested in or with feel happy.

More mature men aren't afraid of a woman's feelings, and won't let things go off the deep end emotionally just because a problem or less-than-great feeling has been shared. They understand that if a woman is bothered, upset, or concerned with something in their relationship... that it doesn't mean that she's UNHAPPY. It just means there's something she's seeing or feeling that she needs to share and address.
The IDEAL way for a man to be with a woman is to stay in that strong and centered place where no matter what his woman brings to him- he'll listen to her feelings and keep loving and supporting her.

That means that a man will be at his MOST SUPPORTIVE when a woman has intense feelings to share that are about him, their relationship, or how she's feeling. Healthy and mature men have an easier time listening and communicating in a calm and loving way when his woman is at her most intense with him.

Choosing a man who already has this quality of remaining "calm in the storm" can and will make everything in your relationship much easier. Also... Being conscious about HOW YOU COMMUNICATE your feelings with your man, and taking care to not accidentally make him feel CRITICIZED, is the sign of a healthy and mature woman.

Good Man Sign #2: He Has Other Healthy Relationships
This is an obvious sign you might already know about. I'm not telling you about it because it's obvious. I'm telling you about it because it's obvious and most women still IGNORE the plain and simple facts that are presented when you look at the other relationships a man has, or has had in his life.

It's important to know WHY too many do this.

You've seen your friends do this when they meet a man who you can tell has serious issues that come up right away... but since this woman already feels strongly for him, she wants to see the best in him. This is often a big mistake, and leads to all kinds of heartache. Why do so many women do this with men, and keep getting themselves hurt with all the wrong men?

For starters...they aren't looking at their man as a person. They're looking at him through the lens of the ATTRACTION and CHEMISTRY they feel for him. And this can be VERY DANGEROUS. The thing is... chemistry is great. It's a must-have for you to feel like a man could be the right one for you.

But most women leave it up to chemistry and attraction alone to choose their man... and they let ATTRACTION do the deciding for them.

Think "Bad Boy" here. Here's what's fascinating...
It's oftentimes the men who would make the WORST PARTNERS who you feel the MOST ATTRACTED TO. It's amazing how often this happens for women. (And men too, with unhappy and unhealthy but physically attractive women). If you want a real lasting and loving relationship, do you even know what to really look for in a man in terms of the relationship "skills" he has... aside from the fact that he often makes you feel sexy and desired? Or that you want him? Picking a man you know has the right qualities and "skills" to have a great relationship with you
isn't just important- it's hard if you don't know what you're looking for.
And the truth is... most women DON'T.

So let me let you in on something about men you might not see yet.
It's a kind of shortcut to telling how a man would be with you in your relationship, should you choose to let him be the lucky one who has your love and affection ;)

There's a great saying out there I keep hearing lately that's true for men and woman-

"How you do anything is how you do everything."

Think about it...

The way in which we handle anything we come across- whether it's a stressful situation at work, or a small fender-bender accident we get in- it says a lot about who we are and how we handle all the other areas of our life.

Knowing this, guess what's a great indicator of how a man is or will be in a close and intimate relationship? The other relationships he already has in his life. If you meet a new man in your life, pay attention to how he handles conflict or issues that come up in his other relationships. (Family,friends, ex's, etc.) If he handles these with patience, compassion, understanding, and a positive attitude that has the goal of a positive and loving outcome in mind, it's a good bet to assume this is how he'll handle things that might come up with you.

If, on the other hand, he takes offense whenever anyone sees him as less than perfect... Or he instantly defends himself or redirects any problems or complaints people have with him back to the person who had them and tries to blame them back... You can also bet that he likely WON'T handle things well with you and stay open and listen when real things come up in your relationship.

*Tip- one of the best things you can do inside your relationship with a man to keep him open isn't what most women do, which is to try and TALK to him more. The quickest and easiest way to have a man feel and act smitten with you and WANT TO KNOW all about you and what he can do to keep your relationship happy and on track is simple-

Make sure he's still experiencing that intense emotion called ATTRACTION with you. Unfortunately, lots of us in relationships either lose sight of - or don't know how to keep - the attraction and the passion alive that brought us together in the first place.

Good Man Sign #3: A Man With A Purpose
I'm about to share with you one of the very best ways to tell if a man has "done the work" for himself and might make a great boyfriend or husband.

Let me ask you...
Have you ever been with a man who was either going through a big change in his life, or he just didn't have his act together? If so, then I don't have to tell you what a nightmare it can be to try and stay close to a man who doesn't feel great about his life and his career.

The simple truth is, men feel better about themselves, and are often better partners in their relationships, when things are going well for them in their career of financially. And this is the reality with most men whether you like it or not.

Here's the good news...
Not all men will become irritable, withdraw, or act like an animal going off to die on their own with you if they have this one other thing going on for themselves. And that one thing is a PURPOSE they are dedicated to that is about something more than themselves or their bank account.

Let me explain what this means...
What is a PURPOSE? And why is it so important for a man? A man's purpose is the REASON WHY he does what he does. For instance, if you know a man who is a writer, he probably doesn't just write for the paycheck (if he has a purpose). On a deeper level, he might write and be inspired because of the benefits it brings to OTHER PEOPLE.

These benefits might be:
-People are transformed as they read his work
-People learn things reading his stuff
-His work inspires people's imaginations or creativity

I think you see what I'm getting at.
So why is a man having a purpose so important?
It's important because it does the following things for a man:
-It keeps him from judging himself and valuing himself solely by his "success" in the things that he does most
-It teaches him that helping and supporting others can be, and is more rewarding, than just helping
yourself
-It keeps him from freaking out and going off the deep end with you in your relationship if the other things he doesn't really have control of in his life change or fall apart

You're starting to see the importance of Purpose in a man's life, and what happens when a man doesn't have one or is disconnected from anything like this in his life.

The question for you is...
Do you support men with their Purpose, and show understanding when they are out of touch with it?
Or do you take it personally when the man you're with is feeling frustrated, worthless, or insignificant as a man when he isn't living up to his purpose?
Do you take the feelings and the behaviors that men take on when they're having a tough time
with their purpose personally, and make them an issue in your relationship?
These are great questions to ask yourself as your looking at how healthy and mature men are.
YOUR PURPOSE AS A WOMAN
What do you do when you feel disconnected from love and the man you're with?
Do you inspire and create more love and make it easy for you both to connect?
Or do you get frustrated that things aren't going well and accidentally push him away further with your feelings?

It would be great if a man would be mature and open and care for your feelings each time in your relationship. But this isn't the case for most women, and in most relationships. We need to do the right things FOR OURSELVES in order to give our partner the gift of our  highest selves with them.

Are you showing and giving men your highest self?
That amazing confident, and happy woman that he will simply want to be with and stay close to? Or are you showing him a woman who is having a tough time just feeling loved and appreciated? The woman inside you who you're showing to the man you're with can and will make all the difference.

If you find yourself being less than your best in your relationship, and you're willing to open up to the idea that it's not just his fault - but that you could be bringing more to your relationship... Then it's time you got back in touch with that amazing woman inside you. There is a way to keep the addictive and emotionally contagious feelings of the honeymoon stage going long after the honeymoon is over.

If you know what that secret is, and how to achieve it, a fulfilling relationship can be virtually EFFORTLESS. The key is building on and maintaining a natural feeling of ATTRACTION in a man.

Keeping the ATTRACTION strong and alive in your relationship is the single most powerful force you have in keeping the love strong and the connection thriving. This doesn't mean just looking good, having a great wardrobe and hitting the gym every day. That's a different kind of attraction, and you probably already know that even supermodels fail
in relationships if they don't know how to keep a man interested with something deeper. The kind of attraction I'm talking about is the feeling you INSPIRE in a man that makes him helplessly ADDICTED to you.

It's the kind of attraction that keeps him thinking about you and wanting to keep you happy... just because he finds you irresistible to be with. A key to a man feeling that INTENSE GUT-LEVEL ATTRACTION for you after the honeymoon is over is having an ongoing level of UNPREDICTABILITY in your relationship. When a man thinks he knows everything about you, and about how you act, think, feel, talk,
etc... then by definition he won't be as tuned in to you and be as EMOTIONALLY ENGAGED in your relationship.

That's simply human nature - when we are seeing and experiencing things that are common and ordinary to us, they don't grab us deep inside in an intensely emotional way.

But when you make something unexpected and out of the ordinary happen between you and a man, he can't help but has his full attention and interest on you.

I’m at 20 week pregnant

This is what the article is saying about the baby in my belly at 20 weeks pregnant. So I shall know the gender on my next visit to the doctor’s clinic. Stay tune!

Your Baby
This is the week most women get that ever-important gender-revealing ultrasound. If your baby isn't shy, the genitals can be clearly seen at this point. Will the baby pee standing up or sitting down? Well, that depends on how you potty train—but if you're interested, you could leave the appointment knowing if you're carrying a boy or a girl. Other highlights this week:
Your baby has established sleep patterns akin to a newborn now. Many babies even have a favorite sleep position already. Some snooze with their chins resting on their chests, while others nap with their head flung back. Many babies at this age fall into noticeable cycles of sleep and activity, so you may know before she arrives whether you have a night owl or an early bird.
If your baby is a boy, the testes have begun descending from the pelvis into the scrotum. If it's a girl, her uterus is completely formed and the rest of her "parts" are in development. (Is that TMI?)
From this point forward, your baby will put most of her energy into gaining weight and, not coincidentally, so will you! Right now your baby weighs approximately 10½ ounces and is about 6½ inches long, about the size of a can of Red Bull (which has way too much caffeine for a pregnant woman to be drinking).